An Easter Egg in the Toilet

Today was a pretty good day. My wife woke me early in the morning to tell me I could sleep in. About 30 minutes later she got back from dropping the kids off at school and asked if I could go grocery shopping with her. I told her I wanted to sleep in, so she asked me again.

I really did need to get up and unclog the toilet. The day before, my little 14 month old found half of a plastic Easter Egg–we have no idea where she found it. But she did manage to throw it into the toilet as it was flushing. She was a good little girl and waved by-by at least.

I have never run into a problem like this before, and I think that having kids and a family is the perfect training-ground for dealing with unexpected events. My single friends get flustered when things start going unexpectedly, but when you get home after a 14 hour shift and walk into your bathroom and there is a pumpkin in the bathtub and a sink full paint stains, you just roll with the punches.

Today I bought a drain auger and didn’t even google what I was about to do. This wasn’t my first rodeo, and I’m sure that I will be the clown and the bull rider some day, then at the end I will be the announcer, but today I am the plumber! I can’t imagine life without all these interruptions, I do try, but I am always interrupted by life.

Life is what I am living, and if you see all this as a burden then I know you are missing the greatest adventure. I used to think that kids hampered my freedom, but they really only keep me out of trouble. I like my life. It is hard work sometimes, but it’s worth it. I mean, how else am I going to find a baby to clog a toilet with an Easter Egg in the middle of December?

Dad-again is… Mr. Mom (updated)

See the bottom of the post for the new humble-pie update!

I have a job that keeps me away from home and isolated in a large warehouse. Sometimes I get home and the kids are already asleep, and when I get up for work the next day, I get to see them sleeping and whisper a good-by. After another long day, it has been about 30 hours since I have seen my kids, and I haven’t even been away traveling on business! My days off are spent writing and playing with the kids. Note that house-work is not on my list. My work hours sightly improved while my wife was pregnant. When she got closer to having the baby I helped when I needed to, but I was not overly helpful.

The Baby Is HERE!

My wife went into labor last week and we now have a happy baby girl! I was able to take off work to help around the house. Actually, all that stuff I don’t normally do, I now have to do. In my head, it seemed like I was going to have plenty of time for all of that stuff, and have time to spare. I learned more than I thought in a short amount of time.

I Do Everything Wrong

I soon learned that I needed a method and a schedule to follow for all the chores. I didn’t know what all the chores actually were, so I did what I thought was necessary. I did it all “wrong” and not in the right order? Do not ask me to explain this, I don’t care if it was wrong, everything got clean and no one got hurt. Well, some of the dishes were not clean and I got yelled at for it, but if she ignore dishes, I can ignore dishes… right?

I am an Amazing Cook!

Cooking dinner was, and is, one of the more annoying tasks. I like cooking, I just don’t like cooking when I am tired and the kids are asking when it is going to be done. I found myself tossing crackers or carrots to the kids like birdseed to pigeons, to hold them at bay. When it was all ready, it was the best received dinner. “You cook good daddy,” and “Oh! This tastes great” and “Daddy! I DON’T WANT EGGS!!! WHY DID YOU GIVE ME EGGS!?!?” After everyone is done eating is the perfect time to clean up, not the next morning. I also learned how to clean as I go.

Bed Time and Getting up for School

I can bathe two kids in less than 20 minutes, my wife, about an hour. The whole sympathy factor is not available. Soap, scrub, rinse, dry–done! I must admit, they do not enjoy bath time as much, but they have their teeth brushed and are in bed on time. I rouse my oldest for school gently and make her walk and dress herself. I was told to carry and dress her because she was tired and sleepy in the morning. She now knows the routine and she won’t ask me to pick her up. She is more alert and I have to constantly remind her to not sing that Frozen song or she will wake her mother and new baby sister.

Would I do This Again?

Heck yah! I really don’t want to go back to work. I think I am doing a pretty decent job, and I have found some methods to become more efficient and organized. I have also noted some areas that need modification/ improvement, like the laundry room and the closets. I really like being home and really like my family.

The Humble-Pie Update

Well, I was going to try and wait a week before I posted this, but I couldn’t wait. I am here to say that I am not the bad ass I thought I was. It took me 2 days to realize that my wife was doing laundry behind my back. I was not able to keep up and my daughter still needed cloths for school.

At the end of the day I would miss my kids like I hadn’t seen them. This confused me, and my lovely wife said, “It is because you left them out of your day.” I had brought my fast paced work life home, and it did not include children. I observed my wife watching a movie, folding cloths, and talking to the children at the same time. I cannot do that.

I let the house get messy, and clean what the wife needs most of the time. I can’t do her job the way she can and don’t think I have the patients to do that anyway. By the end of the week I wanted to punch something, but I have never seen her lose patients.

A home makers job is hard. There is no pay. No one thanks you for your sacrifice. You tend the lives around you and nurture their growth. At the end of the day you are rewarded with exhaustion and kids coming into your bed with bad dreams. I am not man enough to do this job, so I will do what I can and support her.

Racism and lesbians

A white lesbian couple is suing a sperm bank for giving them the wrong sperm. According to multiple sources, which stem from court documents, they live in a racist city and have a racist family, and having a black baby is a big hassle! Apparently black people don’t like the baby either, because when they go to the black neighborhoods to get a haircut, they get started at. I guess cutting black people hair is not taught in barber school.
I am getting ahead of my self. Let’s examine the intolerant bigot of a family they have. These are the people who taught her everything about life. She doesn’t want to leave these people and she is very close to them. I can’t help but wonder how much influence they had on her.
Next, I want to think about the place of residence. Her city is racist and only likes white people. How does she come to this conclusion? By the barber shop? Either way, she claims that she needs to move because of all the racists. It seems that the only non racist place in the whole town, was the sperm bank.
To me, the whole thing is about racist lesbians who wanted a white baby, but got a black baby that they can’t give back to the sperm bank. I can believe that the family could be racist, but the whole city I don’t believe. No one has burned a cross in their front yard and they seem to be the only ones complaining. I can understand some frustration with the accuracy of the spam bank, but it makes it sound like the child is unwanted. Imaging growing up and learning that your gay moms wanted a white baby instead. That makes me more than angry. The child is healthy and happy, so don’t ruin that smile by saying that this baby is a problem because it is biracial.

Phonics and diction are related

Something that I find irritating, is when people say that the correct spelling of a word is wrong, because no one says it that way. There are groups who protest at spelling bees claiming that we need to spell all words phonetically. That does not sound like a bad idea at all.
What they would discover, is that they all mispronounce common words and speak with poor diction. Allow me to rephrase this: most words are spelled phonetically, they are pronounced wrong. You may ask about words like “city” and “hour” and their phonetic spelling.
These words have rules which  govern their spelling. These rules were first written for American spelling by Noah Webster, the same man who wrote the first dictionary. He corrected much of the accepted spellings from the British, so that they would be more phonetic. Back in that time, words had multiple accepted spellings, as did names. If you don’t believe me, look through some old manuscripts.
Another point of interest is that many of our words come from other languages, like fjord or rendezvous. Should these be respelled to accommodate a more phonetic approach?
I hear that phonics are taught in schools, but I do not see very much of it. The list of “sight words” seems to be growing as more textbook authors don’t truly understand the language. The rules of phonics are being traded for rules of test taking and bubble filling. The need to pass students quickly through a semester has a higher priority than learning proper elocution.

How to find your dream job and make money

One thing that the everyone knows, is that making money is essential to living comfortably. There is no coincidence that it is also known as “making a living.” Making loads of cash, through legitimate means or illegally, is not always equatable to happiness.
During an interview, I was once asked if I would do the job if it meant waking up at 3am on my day off to come in. Of course I wouldn’t! I didn’t like the job that much, and I really was in it only for the money. He rephrased the question for me and asked what I wouldn’t mind doing for free. I had never thought about that, and over the course of a few days I really began to think about those questions.
I thought about the hobbies I have and the things I already do that could make money. Instantly I realized all the missed opportunities and felt stupid that I had chosen otherwise. I could have been on a path to a successfully career before I graduated highschool, but I had to learn that 10 years later.
I made the mistake of listening to what others thought I should do, and was even talked out of my passion by my own mother shortly after she recommended it to me. Now I am playing catch up. I need to practice rudimentary skills and regain what I abandoned. The things I was slowly learning then, I have to re-learn now.
There is hope, but it will be a lesson for everyone to not follow your dream, but do the thing you already do naturally. Your dreams are sometimes not what they seem, and what you really like doing is often so obvious that you never consider it.

Can Homosexual Couples Teach Straight Couples Something About Marriage?

A recent study in Australia hints that a gay family is just as good as a straight one, if not better in some areas. Conducted by the McCaughey VicHealth Centre for Community Wellbeing at the University of Melbourne, and funded in part by the The Jack Brockhoff Child Health & Wellbeing Program, the study was preformed by Dr. Simon Crouch et al. The study is called ACHESS (Australian Study of Child Health in Same-Sex Families) and is, at present, classified as ongoing. The purpose of the research is to determine if children of same-sex parents are as socially adjusted as children of a traditional family.

 The study admits that there are some inconclusive results and grey areas due to its ongoing status, but the consensus is the same: the children in same sex families have a happy and loving environment. Same-sex families have been saying that they are just as nurturing as a traditional family, and now they may finally have some evidence to back up their claim. The only negative effects noted, were from the obvious stigma stemming from a family with two Moms, or two Dads. Aside from this, the children from these alternative families are, according to the study, sometimes better socially adjusted.

Heterosexual couples have been trying to achieve the same thing, and while many have succeeded, what makes a gay couple equal more successful? The study (the majority of which were lesbians) cites that they share more of the workload around the house. Homosexual couples were more likely to work together on house chores and share the parenting load. Team work at home sets an example of unity in the family structure. Traditional marriage has a clear separation of duties that is often abused, which is a typical point of argument and creates a more stressful environment for children. 

In general, a happy family with loving parents, and parents who love each other, is a safe bet for happy children regardless of the sexual orientation. If you are curious about some of the more common plights of marriage, read some articles or visit a family or marriage counsellor that shares your family values.